Being a Yo-Yo Dieter.
Always in search of the perfect diet. There were times when I would create a new diet almost every other day. I would plan my desired weight loss, calculate and map it all out and then create a plan that would promise me results. Most of the time I would have to adjust that plan because it was unrealistic.
But even more realistic ones seemed impossible for me to stick to. Did I give up dieting? No, I kept looking for the magic diet plan.
But why actually? Why do we fail to recognise the obvious and make the same mistakes over and over again for years? Let me tell you a few reasons that kept me dieting for almost a decade. You might find some similarities and realise how pointless that crazy diet plans we keep making are.
1. Focusing only on the end result.
Focusing only on the end result and not on the way to the goal is what creates an extreme dieting rollercoaster. Either I was good and stuck to my plan and was rewarded with a flat stomach for a few days, or I went all out and binged on processed foods for days. Up and down.
It wasn't this extreme all the time. There were times, especially in the last two years, when I wasn't on those rollercoaster rides, but I still had that "end goal" in mind. I would skip breakfast if I had a burger for dinner the night before, or go for an extra run if I knew I was going out for brunch. And when I stepped on the scale to check if I was approaching the "end goal" and didn't see my expected and desired number, I threw it all down. A la: screw it, it doesn't matter now anyways. Eat what you want and eat a lot – because tomorrow you'll be healthy again!
I lived in a constant cycle of good (restricting & sticking to a plan) and extreme (uncontrolled overeating).
Why didn't I stop doing that?
2. Weight focused, but not habit focused.
What I didn't realise for almost a decade was I had to change habits that made me go back to dieting. I thought changing habits meant not just eating burgers, sweets and soda. Since I ate a lot of vegetables and my diet was generally very healthy, I didn't see the need to change my lifestyle. No processed foods at all would mean it, I thought. But it wasn't about what I ate. The how much and why I would eat was the question to answer.
And that's probably the main reason why I've been yo-yo dieting all these years. I wasn't aware of what I actually had to do to change something.
I never thought about the fact that I had actually created habits that made me react with food or made it impossible for me to control myself around junk food. I had no idea that I needed to work on them. I only ever focused on my weight, but not my habits, thinking I was already living healthily. But the answer was to break those habits to stop worrying about dieting.
Something I finally realised. By getting rid of them, everything changed. I now don't create diet plans or overeat cookies to relax.
3. Not knowing what normal eating is.
I always thought that once I reached my goal weight, dieting and binge eating would be history. But I have never known how to eat normally again. After I reached my goal, my weight went back up (yoyo-dieting) because I had no idea how to maintain it, aka how a healthy person eats normally. Having been a yo-yo dieter for almost a decade, it made it almost impossible to know how to eat without control and rules.
For me, it was normal to skip meals, scale my food, eat in time windows (not before 10 am and not after 8 pm, for example), count calories and be extremely aware of them. Today I put a whole avocado on my breakfast toast. I used to never eat more than a quarter because I was afraid of too many calories. Have I gained weight because I put more avocado on my toast?
Nope, I actually lost weight. How so? The fact that I stopped overthinking and chose to feed my taste instead meant that I had fewer cravings and naturally ate less.
