Why I Gained 25 Pounds in 6 Weeks (and How it Actually Saved Me)

I believe we all have at least one binge-eating story, that in hindsight seems unbelievable and kind of embarrassing.

Not sure about you, but I have many more. And today I'd like share one of them. Because I don’t want you to feel different or “not normal”.

Yes, you not being able to stop eating isn't the norm and definitely nothing one should have to live with, BUT it’s not unfixable and you actually don’t have to live with binge-eating and similar eating struggles.

This story hopefully motivates you, shows you that change is possible, that one, that found it IMPOSSIBLE - actually CAN stop overeating.

And eat totally normally again 😊

Right at arrival I had fish and salad - and no clue what would await me in the next 5 weeks...

Rough Paradise.

In January 2021, I was in Zanzibar to escape the lockdown in Europe. I booked into an affordable hotel for a month.

The first couple weeks I was alone, I wanted to use the time working, creating content. But that did not happen.

A a buffet for breakfast was included in my room rate - and the food was fantastic. There was everything I like to eat, which became a problem quickly because I actually wanted to lose 5 pounds.

I started overeating soon after I got there, promising myself each time that it would be the "last time." That never worked...

Ever since I started dieting in 2012 (you can read my ED story here), I was obsessed with number: calories, my weight, food measurement.

That's why I always had a scale with me when I was traveling. Once, a guy from airport security was super confused that I had a body scale in my carry-on (I'm shaking my head as I write this).

I couldn't understand why he was so confused. Because for me it was totally normal to have a body scale with me.

And at the trip to Zanzibar I did the same thing. I brought a scale with me. Actually, two: one for my body and one for the food.

So I brought my food scale for breakfast.

I felt like a criminal because I was afraid other guests would see what I was doing (because I knew deep down that obsessive behavior was unhealthy and very worrisome). I sat there, weighed the mini chocolate croissant, the watermelon... And then googled the calorie count. I wouldn't enjoy the view, the air and the fact that I was in paradise.

No, I’d obsessively look up calories on google…😔

I did that for a few days, then gave up and just kept overeating. Until I gained 25 pounds in less than six weeks…

I Woke Up.

Yes, I binged and ate compulsively. I completely lost control (read how not to lose control here) for several weeks. I wanted to lose 5 pounds and gained 25 instead. I’m glad this happened however.

Because at that time I was in a tunnel for many years. Obsessed with calories and the number on the scale. I didn't want to see how abnormal my behavior was because I didn't see the big picture - my quality of life. My relationship with friends, and loved ones, my future - being truly joyful and present.

You know what? I still own scales, I did not throw them away, yet I don’t use them anymore. I learned to trust myself and no longer need control when eating.

What helped was to realize what I was actually doing. I realized that I had brought a food scale to the buffet. I brought a food scale to a public breakfast buffet! Let that sink in… And surprise this kind of control did not prevent me from putting on weight.

I’m so happy to be normal. Just a normal eater.

And I hope this story will motivate you to never give up. Change is possible. Not even two years ago I carried a scale with me through the world, today I am a confident eater who can enjoy food without guilt.

You're not sick, and you don't have to live with these problems.

You just got a little lost in an idea. Just like I did back then. But I will help you to find yourself and confidence in food again.

Sometimes we just need to catch ourselves doing things and admit that they are actually hurting us to get better. That was my first step toward eating freely.

I know, the picture above looks like paradise, and it was, but I just gave myself a really hard time... Silver lining - if all of it didn’t happen, you wouldn’t read this story today. So yea, I’m glad it did 🥲

Read my blog and find tips, so you can leave such obsessive behavior behind as well.

Much love,

Samira x